Co-parenting isn’t easy.
Some days it feels like walking barefoot across broken glass. You’re trying to raise your kids while dealing with someone who may push every button you have.
The court orders you to “cooperate.” The counselors tell you to “communicate.” And inside, you’re thinking: “If it were that easy, I wouldn’t be here.”
Here’s the truth: you can’t control your ex.
You can only control you.
And that’s enough.
1. The Goal: Child-Focused, Not Ex-Focused
The fight is not about proving who’s right. It’s about what’s right for your kids.
When you shift your mindset from winning against your ex to winning for your children, everything changes. Judges notice it. Kids feel it. And you stay steady instead of spiraling.
2. Communication Rules That Save Your Sanity
Keep it Businesslike. Pretend you’re emailing a coworker you don’t like. Professional, short, no emotion.
Stick to the Facts. Dates, times, details. Leave out the commentary.
Delay Before You Send. If you’re heated, wait 30 minutes. Rewrite with calm language
Child-Centered Language. Always frame it around the kids: “This schedule will help Johnny with school consistency.”
3. Boundaries Are Not Optional
You don’t have to respond to every provocation. You don’t have to explain yourself three times. Set limits. Protect your mental health.
Boundaries don’t mean being cold. They mean being clear: “Here’s the line. I’ll stand here. You can stand wherever you want, but I won’t cross it.”
4. Don’t Take the Bait
Your ex may throw jabs. They may twist words, bring up old wounds, or flat-out lie. Don’t bite.
Every emotional outburst can and will be used against you. Let them throw mud. You stay clean. Judges notice who stays calm. Your kids notice too.
5. Brotherhood + Faith = Sanity
Trying to handle co-parenting alone will eat you alive. You need brothers you can vent to before you fire off a text. You need men who remind you who you are in Christ.
And you need prayer.
Not just “help me” prayers, but the kind that roots you in peace: “God, give me the strength to love my kids well, even in this storm.”
Life Application: The 30-Word Rule
This week, try this tool:
When you text or email your ex, keep it under 30 words.
It forces clarity.
It keeps emotion out.
It saves you from writing a novel they’ll twist anyway.
If it doesn’t fit in 30 words, it probably doesn’t need to be said.
Co-parenting doesn’t have to drain your soul. With the right mindset, boundaries, and brotherhood, you can stay sane — and more than that, you can show your kids what steady, Christ-centered strength looks like under pressure.
Because at the end of the day, the goal isn’t peace with your ex.
The goal is peace for your kids.
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